looking up

2009-02-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

i know its wrong and its a problem and i let it.

2009-01-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

you said it'd be fine, and it was. to think that i doubted for a moment.

Amazing? Sensational; spectacular!

no you're not sorry. its coming back. you're not supposed to say things you don't mean. no don't come back please. its not supposed to end like this. you're not sorry. because you don't understand what you're sorry for and you never will because you're not the one that's feeling it. you're not sorry

2009-01-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

its so cool.

you were the worst thing to happen to me, but in the end, you were the best thing.

i never felt so happy in my life before after you left. im free of troubles, free of the pain, free of everything. cause it's all been given away now. now stay that way. you're never coming back.

2008-12-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

well, im coming to see your play tomorrow night.

it's all good

2008-12-23T07:33:00.000-08:00

so close your eyes

its a brand new day

16th December, 2008

2008-12-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

no, you're mistaken. you're wrong. you missed it. you dont understand. that's why.

2008-12-08T09:15:00.001-08:00

its still wrong and its a problem.

maybe its just me. i cant relate to anyone. yeah, i still have friends. i just can't relate fully to them anymore. you know? they dont get it. i cant explain it to them. they wont see it. they wont understand.

i've been thinking about it a long time. ever since that person happened. why do i let it happen. why do let not do i thing. its just something i keep holding on to.

im always second place.

i hope you get it, cause nobody else will.

change?

yeah, big change.

2008-12-07T04:14:00.000-08:00

you took it away and i want it back you liar no one will know who you are i wont tell anyone and i cannot handle this and i have very bad thoughts you you you you you you you you you broke me.

2008-12-05T04:03:00.000-08:00

i know you're there, but i just cant hear you, i just cant feel you right now because im hating and im hurting, and its deafening but it feels so good to hate. i feel sad cause its just jealousy now and its pathetic and im angry again

hahaah i've turned abit more brown, thanks to batam sun. pics from the trip:

more after the jump @ www.flickr.com/photos/spilod.

it feels great holding black plastic/carbon again.

2008-12-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

you love the ones the world just loves to hate. but im not you, so i fall short of that.

kdsafjk;dasdsafadsfdasfdkajsf;adksjjk;afdsjk;ladsfjk;dsalf;kaldsfj'asfj'a

2008-11-26T04:52:00.000-08:00

i still hate you. and im not sorry and i really do i want you to fail. i thought you said there was healing in the pain but you were wrong i dont feel better at all.

my skin is burnt

2008-11-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

i dont understand i still dont understand it was going pretty good for a while and it died again and i really want to stop but i cant cause its like a disease that keeps coming back and you're it.

here's my flower, You.

2008-11-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

dont mean to be cruel, you never even knew about the heartache, i was going through.

i try and try to forget you girl, but its just so hard to do, everytime you do that thing you do.

cause it hurts me so just to see you go, around with someone new, andif i know you you're doing that thing, everyday just doing
that thing, i cant take you doing that thing you do.

the wonders.

2008-11-09T05:16:00.001-08:00

i cant forget, and its really eating me.

i dont open up to anyone anymore

i find my solace in korean songs

2008-11-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

aiyoh. sian diao.

however, you understand even before i open my mouth

2008-10-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

i give up. it gets worse everyday. im looking at the ground. no wait but if you dont then why do write such things it conflicts with how you act and its really confusing do you really mean what you say cause i hope you dont cause its really disheartening to me especially when i see you cause its totally the opposite and it really gives me ideas sometimes and im not sure whats going on all of the time no wait but the way you did that was so convincing i almost thought you were going to but then i read what you wrote and it really tore me up and now im looking at the ground and it gets worse everyday.

when can i tell you?

2008-10-21T06:16:00.001-07:00

im still incapable of forgiving you

hey can i tell you a secret?

2008-10-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

gym and studied and microfibretrauma pain cant lift arms hmmm bio is interesting only because i get to know what happens inside me and why and i hate huckleberry finn hello can anyone hear me please is anyone there help me please.

nobody knows the problem is.

2008-10-09T03:33:00.000-07:00

2 years,

and i still remember what you said you wouldnt do.

and i still havent learnt.

and we're still here.

and i still have it all.

and i forgot to say i loved you too.

and i never understood

and im finally spent.

2008-10-01T02:27:00.001-07:00

its so nice being alone sometimes. just you in your room and your music. thats how i like it. its children's day today. and celebrating bro's birthday later at Morton's: The Steakhouse. some awesome place. cant wait haha. i still dont know how to calculate mean using a cumulative frequency diagram. sighz.

i forget everything when im with you. so please stay. i'd like to be with you again right now

2008-09-23T01:52:00.000-07:00

sleepover! at asher's house. gid seb clement david asher anish kevin gareth dinesh. met at holland v to have dinner but failed so we ate at sunset way instead. seb ate chicken cutlet which tasted good. left my wallet on the table and didnt realize till the next day cause asher took it and returned to me while i was packing up. what a robber haha. played cooking mama but not fun anymore so we played wii boxing and found im rather good haha. both clement and seb lose. some of them went out to the garden and booooooze to death and the rest of us beat each other up in a steel cage ala WWE SVR 2008 DAMN FUN PLEASE haha.

slept at 4am with clement and gideon on the same bed whee and woke up to way back into love. seb woke up to dog saliva.

rest of the pics after the jump: www.flickr.com/photos/spilod

2008-09-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

hahahaha i love chemistry options as much as eating wasabi. which is not at all. and i lost my headphones again. the hell. $40 gone. threadless is here! : D

i know its wrong and its a problem but you dont think so.

avp2 still gives me the creeps after all these years ):

2008-09-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

ever since, i must admit, i have not been handling it very well.

conquered stats and kinetics today with javis and bob. cant wait for monday!

2008-08-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

happy teachers day! james ong is a monster. gave suat kuan a supplies. looks like im getting a beef frank the next time i go to swensens. mmmmm.

im sorry this has to happen

2008-08-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

well, today was slightly different.

disappointing.

2008-08-24T02:55:00.000-07:00

last night was...

exciting

2008-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

when last place is where i've been

its hard to find the strength to start again

you give me faith to lift me feet off the ground

because its not easy trying to fly against the wind

today was coolio, when for first final theory lesson, but i fell asleep. 3rd council put up a funny anti-littering campaign video, which seemed to be aimed at me, strangely. alvin would know. ate a papaya and one and a half sandwiches. tomorrow will be awesome, school ends at 12.20.

i had a miserable day today.

2008-08-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

went to have some fun with bobbie, michelle, alex and kevin. mmm gordon gin with lime juice. go away bourbon. looking forward to tmr's PE! crazy badminton here i come.

its so difficult dealing with it. i know its wrong and its a problem. i hate you.

2008-08-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

hahaha background and friezes! how awesome ^^ received a thumbs up from paul tan as well. cooliooooooo.

lets celebrate by studying for prelims.

2008-08-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, jaime.

studied with bobbie, al and javis. lost and found my headphones.

ioc in around 10 hours. this isnt gonna end well. Ooo foreshadowing!

happy national day

2008-08-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

happy national day. no tickets this year, how sad. didnt get to watch fireworks either. olympic games on HD5 was coolio though. didnt realize singapore was swimming until i saw that we came in first for the 100m butterfly women's. exciting stuff.

did 2 more extracts today! whoopee. damn bloons TD.

i know its a problem. i know its wrong. but you dont.

2008-08-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

wow, this is really really really PAINFULLLLL

oh, snap.

2008-08-02T09:33:00.001-07:00

hate the army ):

i just realized, the world still revolves without you

why black and white?

black and white makes it all clearer. the tonal differences, the details. its in the detail. removes the distraction that is colour. makes you more aware of your exposure.

"how many pictures of sunsets have we seen masquerading(sp?) as art?"

black and white raw-rifies everything. emotion flows out. beauty appears. its easy to learn, hard to master. black and white doesnt seduce, like colour. it mesmerizes. it arouses. colour is brilliant, black and white is dignified.

i dont believe in colour.

2008-08-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

tonight was...

...good

i just realized i have no music taste. others determine it for me. i get what i can.

2008-07-29T07:44:00.000-07:00

how could you walk down that dusty street

how could you reach out when they nailed you down

thats what they say you are to me. does your heart ache?

if i had been the one, i would not have been as strong. i'd had been long gone.

so all i have to say is, when im praying, thank God im not the one.

played 3 hours of bridge. good stuff. ate some apples, did some ioc. poor seb, he's gonna be a diver. goddamnit, do you know you killed me?

2008-07-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

oh and free cotton candy is never a bad thing.

2008-07-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

oh, its still painful

and i've been thinking. it doesnt make sense. how could you still reach out when they nailed you down.

my dad just gave me some mangosteens. good stuff. mmmmmm-hmmm.

2008-07-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

what a miserable day.

i feel the jagged little heart coming back.

its so easy to lie to everyone

2008-07-24T02:45:00.000-07:00

i brought my camera to school after a long hiatus (sp?). this is what happened:

i should have asked what makes them better than me

sjdfhfhldjhsdagflasdgfh lost my red tray

There Was No Thief

2008-07-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

For a time I thought there was a thief among us

I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit

The smoke had cleared and to my disbelief

There was no thief cause it was me

That lost you

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back

And I understand why you wouldn't want to

I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And there's just one last thing that I have to say

As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made

It was cowardice that made me push you away

I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

And I can't see you

Getting used to

Living in the midst of your perfection

And I'm so lost

How can you trust

Somewhere the sun is always shining?

And there's just one last thing that I have to say

As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made

It was cowardice that made me push you away

I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back

what a horrible day

2008-05-24T06:23:00.000-07:00

i was riding a motorcar, he was riding a motorbike. i was going to catch. i was almost going to grab him. then suddenly, he launched out of his motorcar in a fiery blast, using to jet pack to go up up up. my car transformed into a helicopter, and gave chase. we were going fast, very fast.

he could only go up, and not turn sideways, and he soared through the clouds. i saw it from my helicopter. i rose up through the clouds as well, and saw a gigantic tower made of columns of floating balloons twisted into a spiral. there was a hole in the middle from the bottom, and he went up through that. i docked my helicopter at the base of the balloons and got out. i saw a bouncy pad. i got onto it, and started bouncing. all of a sudden, i was catapulted up faster than the speed of sound. i rose up so fast, my eyes hurt. i looked to my left, and saw the ocean. i barely reached the top, and saw a circular platform with a railiing lining the column of balloons. i grabbed the platform, and climbed onto it. i didnt see him. i looked over the railing, and saw a beautiful ocean with a castle in the middle of it. it was far away. very far. and i was very high up. i started to falll. i fell through the clouds, and it was wet. and then i woke up.

freaking weird dream okay.

23rd May

2008-05-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

we've come a long way havent we. thank you for bringing us through this. i was so sure we'd fail, but we didnt, and it may actually turn out great. i was rather scared, and actually gave up. but you pulled me through. thats awesome. just bring me through 4 more days. please.

and you, when will i see you again. i didnt think i'd be brave enough, lol. or maybe it was because i couldnt stand it anymore. i just had to press the button. thank you for replying.

oh, happy bday seb. tralalalala ^^

i need to study.

wow,

2008-05-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

you called.

206th post

2008-05-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

hello i want to see you break. i want to see you fall. i dont want to see you anymore.

I am a Race Driver.

I think you're so mean

2008-05-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

well, things have been going okay. SYPC is coming along fine. work load is decreasing slowly. almost a full fledged guitar hero and you dont really matter anymore.

hello you who i see on the bus everyday.

Singapore Young Photographer's Award 2008

2008-04-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

Friday

2008-04-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

what a wonderful day. aced bio test, aced math test, done with english test, finished tok, played guitar hero.

do you remember when laughter took the place of things we were not. i do

you kept me standing in your shadow

2008-04-20T03:03:00.001-07:00

but its a cold cold place to hide

you took everything while i was staring at the sun.

why did you do it.

oh, i know

2008-04-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

why dont you bugger off.

erythrocytes

2008-04-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

so i'll just think about you until there's nothing left in my head

guitar hero

2008-04-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

i need a plan to pull through. help.

not going to write you a love song

2008-04-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

it was hard, but i did it.

never felt better.

shucks.

Wednesday

2008-04-09T09:08:00.001-07:00

not a bad day.

had photog after school. went well. new member! pretty one too.

teachers said good things during ptm. thank goodness.

shit i think i sprained a my back or something just now. shitttt napfa tmr.

wednesday's over.

please stop. its horrible.

Tuesday!

2008-04-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

its Tuesday!

horrible day. no SL3 means no free periods.

had to present king lear. went much worse than how i imagined it to be. paul tan seemed okay with it though. phew. next up is huck finn presentation. damn.

omg chem prac. no one managed to finish. have to come back on friday to complete wth. horrible.

slept through whole of econs. felt wonderful.

math was okay. jsut started stats. gotta love SL.

doing math port now.

Tuesday's over.

just like the rest of them, you're a million miles away. horrible.

secret invasion

2008-04-07T03:38:00.001-07:00

monday.

went to school. bought gummies! yum.

had a successful bio prac thank goodness.

watched superbad which was super good ( i *AM* Mclovin)

time for some math port/chem prac/toilet.

found out the problem with me.

sunday

2008-04-06T03:39:00.000-07:00

hello its sunday! ahh no homework to do (except math port). how nice. feels great.

went to church, and teresa, for like the first time in ever, joined our cell group for lunch ( and she's been in it longer than i have). amazing.

went to kinokuniya to look around for a while afterwards, and bought some stuff. kinda ponned a meeting cause i was lazy. oops.

went home, but missed my bus stop so i had to walk. aiyoh. wanted to take a nap upon reaching home but got distracted by Secret Invasion #01 (of 8). pity. not.

went and surfed the net for funny/interesting things. laughed abit. had my chem prac koped by some people. lazy buggers. kidding.

went to explain some econs stuff over msn to a friend. wow i actually remember my stuff. hurrah. parents are currently buying dinner back (chicken rice). oh well. at least its tasty.

sunday's over.

everyday i think of this thought so dreadful that

amazing how.

2008-04-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me

i dunno,

2008-04-02T09:24:00.001-07:00

why do you do things like this huh.

always one

2008-04-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Basic Driving Theory 1.02

did you know if your blood alcohol level exceeds the legal limit and if you sit in the driver's seat of a car, you can get imprisoned, even if the car is not turned on(is that what you call it)?

yeah,

2008-03-29T08:20:00.001-07:00

i dont believe it, either

hello

2008-03-27T03:26:00.000-07:00

feels cold.

Why

2008-03-26T09:15:00.001-07:00

this is when i need You, when im at my weakest. when things seem so inhumanely daunting. when the circumstances laugh at me. when im the most pathetic. when there's a wall too high to climb. when everything just dies around me. when all i see is black. this is exactly when. but i hear nothing.

.

i see what you did there

2008-03-16T04:56:00.000-07:00

Woke up from a nap and

painpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpain

Nissan GT-R 2009

2008-03-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

The Legend Is Real

the only thing i can do now, is wait. because im scared. and because i do.

i dont know,

2008-03-10T06:33:00.000-07:00

how could you forget.

my ee looks very hot now.

StarBucks Signs

2008-03-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

are annoying. today was a good day =)

mmm. happy hols.

18

2008-03-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

about damn time.

thank You.

in a wonka fudgemallow super scrumptious delight kind of way

2008-03-05T05:01:00.001-08:00

hello, sunshine.

just so that i could

2008-03-03T01:57:00.000-08:00

see you for a while more. but it doesnt really matter, cause it always ends up wrong anyway.

happy monday.

desgined by Apple

2008-03-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

i love it

islets of langerhans

2008-02-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

has alpha cells. i love bio.

an equilateral triangle has angles of 60 Degrees

2008-02-26T02:33:00.000-08:00

HATE MATH.

you stepped on my shoe

2008-02-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

covered Chingay in the Heartlands right next to the DPM today. good stuff. some crazy MP kept screaming OLE OLE OLE. oh well.

shot of the day. enjoy.

bio test

2008-02-22T04:20:00.001-08:00

i just dont like it when you do that okay?

It was frosty at best

2008-02-20T07:49:00.002-08:00

sigh chem test. hate it like how i hate eating bittergourd and all sorts of liver. didnt fail math test. phew.

when i see you, my day instantly becomes better.

It was frosty at best

2008-02-20T07:49:00.001-08:00

sigh chem test. hate it like how i hate eating bittergourd and all sorts of liver. didnt fail math test. phew.

when i see you, my day instantly becomes better.
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2-1 = 3

2008-02-19T04:03:00.000-08:00

HATE MATH.

i like walking. makes me feel normal

2008-02-16T09:09:00.001-08:00

wow. that. really. hurt.

happy valentine's day

2008-02-14T05:17:00.000-08:00

damn econs test tmr. and more chem D:

need not, nor can it be.

2008-02-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

shit i need to pay attention during chem more. I dont understand anything D:

The Memory

2008-02-08T08:09:00.001-08:00

enjoy.

i remember everything

to a Brand New Day

2008-02-08T05:57:00.000-08:00

woke up late, had lunch, went home, dad's friend visited, got big angbao, did world lit, had dinner, thought for a while, became sad, worked out, slacked, blogged.

i like yiruma

maybe it ran out of batteries

2008-02-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

watched cj7 today. not really strong overall, but at least it was entertaining.

i like your direction

2008-02-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

yay cny. released early from school today, and went to asher's house with some 1.9 people. hahaha hot damn 1080p. stupid asher.

holiday tmr. whoppee.

please?

Glass

2008-02-04T01:11:00.000-08:00

hi.
i dont like electrochemistry and -nFE.

preview of two entries for SYPA (subject to change):

i remember the last year. what we did. and what you said.

jealous, please.

headache

2008-02-03T05:20:00.000-08:00

owowowowowoowowowowowowowowoowOUCH DAMN IT WHAT THE HELL?

im dying D:

Waiting.

2008-02-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

'The word "image" comes from the word "imagination." It doesn't come come from "lens sharpness" or "noise levels" or "D3" or "D300" or "I NEED A NEW CAMERA"

NEWS FLASH: SPIDERMAN CANT FLY.

Boatman stays with the boat

2008-02-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

rambo is pretty awesome. stayed with po and peh in starbucks until 2. yawn.

maybe po's right. i should do something and stop waiting. i'll ask this week.

higher derivative pains.

2008-01-23T07:14:00.000-08:00

photography meeting today was funny. haha.

i think im breaking

weird gadget fantasies

2008-01-20T01:29:00.000-08:00

hello to all those who are lucky enough to have a Nikon D3.

not just because they're the proud new owner of a 12.1 megapixel full frame DSLR with 51-point autofocus, two CF slots, HDMI, and a 3-inch live view LCD, 6400ISO, boostable up to 25,600 (yes, twenty-five-freaking-thousand six hundred) but lucky because, you know, they can afford to spend $5,000 on a camera.

built by photographers

sweetness, sweetness never comes

things that you said

2008-01-19T05:09:00.000-08:00

went for drama photoshoot. ahhhh.

EE word count: 2500.

i like how my price/time graphs look. hmm my phone has scrweed up. it has hung again while i was writing this.

enjoy:

buffer acid

2008-01-18T04:35:00.000-08:00

is an acid which is stronger than another acid.

EE word count: 2023

ahhhh econs IAs are done. finally. drawing diagrams on microsoft word (even 07) is so irritating. it doesnt seem to save the options i choose. keep needing to select them again. and i dont know how to copy and paste diagrams i draw (if thats even possible) so i dont have to start from scratch when drawing a similar diagram.

i want to watch cloverfield and jumper. get ready to jump.

fueled by rage

2008-01-15T04:23:00.000-08:00

EE word count: 1500.

a series of blacks and whites from today: www.flickr.com/photos/spilods

raindrops keep falling on my head

2008-01-14T01:46:00.001-08:00

extended essay word count: 4000-4000 = 0

someone help

hello,sunset

2008-01-13T05:06:00.000-08:00

have any of you ever wondered what the x in NIkon's D40x ever stands for? (probably not)

for those of you who have, the x stands for

extra Pixels

extra year of warranty

at and extra special price.

welcome to NIkon!

when i gaze at the sunset with the woman i love, i think F8 at 1/250s. har har.

you can leave now.

2008-01-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

help chem pracs and bio pracs. help econs. help ee and tok. help.

today was quite unexceptional. except for the pillar game.

micro fibre trauma

bb day

2008-01-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

omg please, i know how to differentiate, maybe, nice.

bonus pic from ytd :

black and white is the world we don't see (:

Frozen Strawberries

2008-01-08T07:44:00.001-08:00

are tasteless.

went to library, had fun, went to holland v, had dinner, went home, had zzz.

giving an introductory lesson to the new year 5 photographers tmr. hope everything goes alright.

and Lord,

2008-01-07T01:39:00.003-08:00

you have.

Lord,

2008-01-06T08:16:00.001-08:00

only you can.